All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my cumshot.

Making videos of myself having sex with other men started with a simple request. A man I was having a very hot time with contacted me.  All that summer we had been having sex on his back deck late at night, after whoever was in his house went to sleep. This time he said I could come over if, and only if, I made a video of myself jerking off up and coming. And then posted it  to the site we had met on. So I did. He watched it and then messaged me to come over.

Before this act of erotic blackmail, the idea had never really occurred to me. I was never much of a fan of professional gay porn. It seemed so hokey and, for the most part, hairless. The parade of shaved, gym-chiselled and identical bodies going through the motions under uniformly bright and sterile lighting is the opposite of sexy.

When I joined squirt.org, which features homemade porn uploaded by users, I found these videos far more inspirational, aspirational and instructive.

The first time I made a video of me having sex with another man, it was as a kind of lure. I had been hooking up with this incredibly hot, incredibly closeted, bi-married guy in his thirties. He had a naturally toned, hairy body and a thick cock. He was also really into voyeurism/exhibitionism—which does not interest me very much.

I landed on the idea of offering to make a video of us having sex. His face would never be on screen. We could post it and this would be an exhibitionist act. As for my face, I never made any effort to conceal it on gay cruising sites.

He agreed and it proved to be very popular on the site, having been viewed over 20,000 times to date, and so it has led to more requests from other guys to make videos. Some just wanted them for their own private use. Others were very keen to have them posted online for public consumption.

Things took another turn when I discovered there are more than a few men out there who really get off on having sex with me while they watch videos of me having sex with other men. To a man, these guys have no interest in being filmed themselves.

One very handsome young man of 25, in particular, regularly contacts me and asks if I have any new videos of me sucking off, or getting fucked by, other guys. If I do, he races over and once I’ve cued the videos, he sits back and I worship his cock. He comes 2 or 3 times a session. Sometimes he fucks me too. Then we talk about his work and how it is going with the latest man he is dating. (Usually, not very well.)

Now, a feedback loop has been created. I make videos of me having sex, I post the videos and screenshots from the videos on cruising sites. This attracts more men for sex, some of whom want to make videos too. And so on and blow on.

Recently, I stumbled upon some nude Polaroids I took of myself in the 90s and had stashed away. At the time, I remember looking at them with disappointment. Now, I think, “What a hottie!” I wish I had more photos and videos of me having sex from my younger years. The ones I started making in my 40s will have to do. I am sure my 50-year-old self is going to look great to my 70-year-old self.

I also have to admit that I have a few personal favorites that I jerk off to. These are the ones where the making of the video itself is not the focus; the actual sex is. If too much attention is paid to the camera and its positioning, I do not find the videos exciting. Then they look like amateurish versions of professional porn, rather than found-footage of shared hot times.

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